bali-haiiiiiiii

i'm back from bali. well, physically i may be back but mentally and spiritually, i am still there. i think a part of me will always be there. i feel like it is a second home for me now. i have been doing a lot of thinking about why this is ~ why aren't i really sad to be home like i normally am when i return from a vacation? it's because i'm still there. i was immersed into the balinese culture. i became balinese. from the second i got off the plane and no one was there to pick me up at 3:30 am (and there was supposed to be someone), it was sink or swim, bali-style. it wasn't a luxurious, lay by the pool, watch the palm trees sway, go on arranged tours kind of trip - it was a "we're going to the heart of the market. meet back here in 6 hours. have fun" kind of a trip. it was non-stop, get up at 5 am and explore and make art kind of a trip. it was completely intense and amazing. and i am forever changed because of it.
it was hot. it was in the upper 80s and 80-90% humidity. i finally figured out on the second day that i just needed to carry around a washcloth to mop my brow, constantly. i sweat. a lot. it was gorgeous. it was a third-world country. it was dirty and the pollution was sometimes unbearable. not necessarily garbage piles everywhere but fumes from scooters that were EVERYwhere, that ran on diesel, filled my lungs and by the last day i sounded like a trucker. but what covered up that smell was incense. it was like the entire island was dunked in incense, at all times. and then there was the fragrant smell of durian. i never tried it (and i really meant to) but the smell permeated many areas. i kind of got used to it. it was actually a bit comforting.
i think what really got me the most was the intense spirituality of this place, of these people. no matter how poor they were, they put out an offering every.single.morning. i was lucky enough to get lots of drivers and make buddies with lots of locals who spoke good english so i asked most of them about this phenomenon that i was SO captivated by. one told me that they set out offerings every morning to thank god for what they were given: a new day, this life, the blessings around them. they offered up to god what they had been given: rice, fruit, flowers, incense, eggs, money. and every single one was in a hand woven small basket made of palm fronds. one driver told me simply: it is the only way their people could live in HARMONY. i found this to be moving, and delightful. and quite a departure from what we, as americans, know. and it seemed so simple. so so simple. as an innocent bystander, it seemed like their culture moved so fast and so abruptly ~ the scooters whizzing by with 2 adults on one with a baby squished in the middle of them, all without helmets. the street lights that no one stopped at, as they were just a suggestion. the kids filling their water bottles from the hose on the street (YIKES). the ancient women walking bare-foot and shirtless down the semi-paved road carrying bushels of greens on their heads. but really, after only a few days, i realized - there is a system here. and everyone is smiling. they've figured it out. they are not unhappy. they don't question their lives. they all have their role and it's as if everyone knows everyone else's. and it's all good. and safe. and it works. quite well, actually. and they offer up their thanks multiple times daily. and it's out with the bad, and in with the good. and they live in harmony. and they leave the rest up to the gods.
why is it so hard for our culture to figure that out?
it was a beautiful thing, to realize this. the word that came to my mind every single day, multiple times daily was DEDICATION. whether they were carving stone or wood by hand, plowing the rice paddies or planting rice by hand, carrying bushels or buckets of fish on their heads, making their offering baskets and setting them out daily, selling fruit or grains at the market...they were dedicated.
another buddy of mine explained to me that bali is predominantly a hindu culture and buddhism is the other major religion on the island. therefore, everyone believes so heavily in karma that they would never hurt a fly. or the plate-sized spiders for that matter. everyone, everything has a role and who are they to decide? thus, the incredible love and positivity that every one of the balinese displayed. i never felt unsafe or unwelcome, even as an obviously white american woman. they all smiled, waved, welcomed me, and appreciated me. how novel. and they all loved obama. once they found out i was american, they always said "yay, obama!". it was adorable. and quite lovely to think that all the way on the other side of the world, at least someone is happy for the US.
i loved the detail on this island. i was actually in heaven. the stone carvings that seemed to beam ancient emotion, the temples that were everywhere and sometimes even in the middle of nowhere, the wood carvings that were so intricate. even on the huts on the side of the road there were statues or detailed carvings. what craftsmanship. and to them, it's just totally normal. for me, i was in paradise. and on major sensory overload. but i couldn't get enough. i was entranced by the sites, everywhere i looked.
my mind is now swimming with the things i saw, the sounds i heard. i look out at the grey skies of seattle and all i can see are my favorite bali scenes...i hope that never dies. spring is coming so birds are outside my window and all i can hear is the multitude of bugs, roosters, and scooters.
something in me has awakened. not just the travel bug, but a new sense of self. we place so much importance on stupid things in the states ~ money, clothes, cars, electronics. and rarely do we STOP to give thanks. yah, i like my "stuff". i like my collections of tchotchkes, i won't lie. and i collected even more on this trip. but the best thing i collected from bali is a spirituality that one can only get when immersed in it. it's not something you can just read about. you have to FEEL it. you have to experience it. and boy did i. and i am richer for it. i find myself giving thanks more, and finding more pleasure in the little things. well let's be clear, i've always loved the little things ~ but now it's just different.
as my friend hope said, a new layer has been added to my rich, colorful life.
honestly, i think more than a few layers have been added...